alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
