Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
