But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
