You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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