I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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