P.S. I can't hear my feet
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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