we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
