Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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