when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
