i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
