remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
