you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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