i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
This is the high leading the old right now
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
