1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
