there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize