btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I don't deserve a penis
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
