Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize