bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
