Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
