The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
