I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
