O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
