so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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