Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize