thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
