well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
