i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
