did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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