my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
