Cold hands, warm shart.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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