i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
