You just made me feel so damn special
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Randomize
