Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
