hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
