i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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