No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I CAN MOONWALK!
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
