I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
