I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
