I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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