hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
