What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Swine flu is the new snow day.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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