what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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