I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
