Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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