Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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