Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
