I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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