just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
