I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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