i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
