I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
