i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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