I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
