Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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