Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
