he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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