dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Randomize
