Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
